1. Florida should be 5 different states.
Each coast, the panhandle, the interior – Florida is very diverse, population wise.
You can see the rich people in Miami or the rednecks up by Tallahassee. The old people usually flock to the coasts, especially on the western side of the state, from Tampa south.
2. Practically half the country will come see you for their vacation.
Oh yeah, Canada loves to winter in Florida too. Every spring, the big Canadian migration happens when the RVs and travel trailers pull out of Florida and head back home once the last snowfall happens. It’s typically right after Easter weekend.
Then, it goes from 85 degrees to 100 degrees, seemingly overnight.
3. You may become a lover of sports.
Football players hail from Florida and minor league baseball teams make it their home.
4. You will likely start to gamble a lot.
Horse racing, illegal (or is it legal) Sweepstakes rooms and everything in between is around every corner.
And just about everyone plays the Florida lottery. Especially the people who can’t afford to do so.
5. Florida will become the butt of everyone’s ‘dumb criminal’ joke.
Only in Florida’ is a pretty common theme around here. It seems that every whacko that gets into trouble with the police for a silly crime is from Florida.
6. The state capital is kinda’ confusing.
Tallahassee has two state capital buildings. You probably won’t think that’s very interesting. But it’s the answer to a trivia question.
7. There are a ton of wealthy people in Florida.
Talk about the 1%. There’s some gold in them Florida hills.
Most of the wealthiest people you’ll meet in Florida aren’t even Florida residents full time.
8. You should probably learn how to golf.
One of the biggest industries in Florida is golf. There are courses around every corner.
You should learn to play a little bit, especially if you’re into building leads for your business. It will help you fit in.
9. You’ll probably start drinking more orange juice.
The citrus crop is a big deal in Florida. After all, if it’s made in your own backyard, why not enjoy it more?
10. You just might want to retire in the Keys.
They call it Jimmy Buffet Land for a reason. The lifestyle is addicting.
The further you get down the Keys, the more offbeat the people get. Once you get to Key West, you’re at the end of the road. And you know what’s at the end of the road, right?
11. Duval Street is just like New Orleans, but a lot cleaner and safer.
Head on down to party till the sun goes down – which is pretty late in the summer.
12. You’ll learn to love riding in the canals.
There are intercoastal highways all over Florida where you can get off the beaten path and check out the scenery. Just make sure to look out for gators if you stop to pee.
13. You may be on COPS if you get pulled over.
The famous TV show (or other similar shows) love taping shows in Florida due to the crazy resident population.
14. There are natural springs everywhere.
Most people know about the long stretches of beaches, but the natural springs are where it’s at.
A true Florida native doesn’t go to the beach to relax anyways. That’s for old people, tourists and teens.
15. You will become a patient driver.
There are old people everywhere. Just get used to it.
When you find yourself behind an old person who is going 20 miles under the speed limit, take a breath and relax. They’re probably on their way to or from a restaurant, a pharmacy or a mall.
16. You might see spaceships above you.
The Kennedy Space Center on the coast is home to many takeoff and landings for NASA.
17. If you don’t like car racing, you might begin to.
The Daytona 500 is a pretty big deal around here. So is Homestead.
Outside of North Carolina, you probably won’t find a bigger group of NASCAR lovin’ beer drinkin’ coon shootin’ country music lovin’ rednecks in America.
18. You’ll see dolphins every day if you want.
Being so close to a major migration route (and ocean current), the Atlantic Ocean and Gulf of Mexico are both teeming with ocean life. Sometimes, they’ll swim right up to you.
19. If you are afraid of sharks, you will hate life.
Hey, it’s their home. We’re just visiting.
Every year, there are reports of shark attacks off the Florida coast. If you aren’t sure if there’s a shark near you, assume there is.
20. You’ll want to leave town every Spring.
Everyone else’s Spring Break means you get lots of new (temporary) neighbors each April.
Don’t fret it, they’ll come and go, and then you can get back with your life. And deep down, after they leave, you’ll probably miss the hot people in their swimsuits running around.
21. Don’t hate the tourists. They help pay your taxes.
It’s a $100 billion a year industry. Get used to it. They’re helping pay for the taxes, roads, schools, etc.
22. If you live near the coast, you’ll eventually see a celebrity.
The closer to Miami you get, the more famous people you will see.
But don’t fall for the fancy car, hot wife, pretend celebrities. They are just showing off. They are not famous.
23. You will learn to love the food choices.
Florida is a melting pot. You can find everything from Caribbean to Cuban to Mexican and Italian food here.
24. You might want to just leave the car at home on some days.
Florida drivers are notoriously bad. They’re either too slow or too fast.
When you enter Florida, you immediately know you’ve entered Florida. The drivers are just, well, different than anywhere else you’ve ever lived. You’ll see what we mean.
25. When your friends visit, they’ll all want to Disney World or Miami.
You’ll get used to driving to both quite often.
Disney World is a money pit, where it costs a family of four about $1,000 for the day. If your visitors from out of state insist on going, make sure they’re paying for your trip!
26. There’s a pirate vibe here you’ll learn to appreciate.
From shipwrecks to the mascot for the football team, it’ll remind you of Pirates of the Caribbean.
27. You may start to lose your fear of snakes and alligators.
When you see them every day, you get used to them! That doesn’t mean you should ever approach them.
Here’s two tips: Don’t let your animals too far out of your sight if you live near water, and look under your car before you get into it.
28. You will probably have bug bites year round.
The mosquitos in Florida are terrible. And it seems like they are out year round.
You will also likely see large, strange bugs that you have never seen in person before. The type of bugs you only knew existed from reading National Geographic.
29. The politics here will have you shaking your head.
Remember the debacle with the chads in the Bush-Gore election? That’s just the beginning of the craziness here.
Florida is all over the map with its politics, but leans heavily conservative. However, the continued migration of Carribbeans and Central Americans is making it much less so.
30. Trying to predict the weather will drive you nuts.
The humidity alone will make you want to return to where you came from. From April through October, it can be pretty brutal.
The good news is the rain doesn’t last long here. But when it does rain, it seems like it only makes the humidity worse.