1. Diners aren’t just for breakfast. They’re a way of life.
Because everyone has 2 am pancake stories.
2. Everyone goes “Down The Shore” as much as physically possible.
When was the last time anyone from Jesey used proper English in that sentence? Never. It’s not an exception to the rule, it is the rule.
3. Unless you live “Down The Shore”, then you just go to the beach.
And everyone down in South Jersey will let you know only “Bennys” go “Down The Shore”.
4. Your exit off the parkway matters.
5. Because there’s an essence defining North / South rivalry.
You have to pick a side.
6. North Jersey Has Taylor Ham.
IMO, if it says “Pork Roll” on the menu it means you are getting the cheap stuff. I only order Taylor Ham.
7. And South Jersey Has WaWa.
Apparently not everyone runs on Dunkin’.
8. Debates rage over subs vs hoagies.
9. But North and South Jersey Agree that Central Jersey doesn’t exist.
10. No one pronounces it “Joisey”.
Can we all agree at least that it should be perfectly legal to punch anyone that calls it “Joisey” in the larynx?
11. But ‘wooder’ is somewhat acceptable.
I guess it’s a South Jersey thing picked up from Philly.
12. And it’s pronounced Mario not Maaario
I don’t believe in a Jersey accent. Everyone else just pronounces Mario incorrectly.
13. NJ should know Italian given it has the best pizza in the world.
14. And better bagels than NY. Hands down.
15. NJ corn gets you weak in the knees just thinking about it.
16. People in NJ know that there’s nothing better than the smell around the Meadowlands…
Whenever you land in Newark from a long time away, it’s just what you need to feel grounded.
17. Because it’s home to sweet memories – like games at Metlife Stadium…
Home to the NJ Jets and NJ Giants
18. And the only hockey team someone from NJ should believe in – The Devils.
19. Not to mention the smell protects the rest of the country from invading the secret beauty of NJ.
20. Because NJ is already the most densely populated state in the union.
21. And doesn’t need more people pushing up property taxes.
22. Everyone NJ looks up to the “The Boss”.
He’s still dreamy.
23. And has their wedding end with Living On A Prayer.
It’s not possible to name a better way to end a great night with great people.
24. Every class trip should be to Sandy Hook…
25. Or the home to awe inspiring awesome, The Liberty Science Center…
26. Or Great Adventures when you’ve had enough of school.
27. So while maneuvering a jug handle is second nature,
You secretly smile every time someone from out of state looks frantically for jug handle road.
28. And you don’t know how to pump your own gas,
29. Everyone knows NJ has more state pride than anywhere else in the country.
30. Because, at the end of the day, you’re a damn proud Jersey-ite
You bagel loving, shore going, jug handling son-uva-gun.